I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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