how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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