So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
