if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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