My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
