Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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