so that wasnt chicken after all
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
