Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
