with your own penis?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
