That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize