Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
