all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
