he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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