I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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