ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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