"it" just moved
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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