I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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