Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
