Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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