Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
