dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
