when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
