Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
