Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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