i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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