Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
