have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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