Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just want to make out with him forever
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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