What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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