do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
