Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
