You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I wish my penis had an off switch
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
