Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I can't put those talents on a resume
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize