Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You need Xanax blowdarts
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I have tasted many bathrooms
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
