They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
