I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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