You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
