And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
