I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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