yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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