i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
