Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize