well most of my day revolves around power hour
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
