Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
