I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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