Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
the raccoons are back...
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