its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
