On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
