So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
