If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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