Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
