dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
