He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My pussy is not your playground.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize