i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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