She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
