I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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