And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
