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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night

  (631): View more from New York

  U should. Its a good ice breaker

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??

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• (244): View more from

  There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.

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• (760): View more from California

  Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.

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