so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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