Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just forgot I was standing up.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
