Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
