We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
