Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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